Goodbye Grandpa

Allen Stocking 1911-2010

My Grandpa Stocking lived to be 99 years old, and for almost all of that he was as healthy as a horse. I know I'm not the only one who thought he'd be around forever. Although I knew that wouldn't be true realistically, that's how I felt. But, his body finally hit its limit. I'm glad that he's no longer in pain.

I think the thing I will remember most about him is his happy attitude. For all my life, he was always so happy. I loved people, and he talked to anyone who would listen. At family functions, while all of us were chasing around our children- his posterity- he'd sit and watch with a content smile on his face. He was a man who knew that happiness came from family and the gospel. There wasn't much that brought him down. Even though his last months on Earth were quite painful, he endured them with humor and a smile. He was especially sweet, which illustrates how Christlike he was.

I wish I could have visited him more recently, but my sister, Kim, and I were able to go over a couple times. When we did, we sang hymns to him. The Spirit was so strong as we sang those inspired words. Some of the hymns we sang were "I Need Thee Every Hour," "Abide With Me, Tis Eventide," "Where Can I Turn for Peace?," "Jesus the Very Thought of Thee," and "Be Still My Soul." He loved music, so I was grateful to be able to share those hymns with him and give him some comfort in my own way.

This last little while I've been thinking about how much he has meant to me, and I've thought about some of the memories I have with him. Here are some of them:

-I was one of the cousins who took turns mowing his lawn. I'd ride my bike to his house, mow the lawn, he'd pay me $5 give or take, and I'd ride home. I always enjoyed it.

-I remember what a hard worker he was, even in his later years. He always had such good tomatoes from his garden, and his lawn was the greenest on Redwood Road.

- I will never forget going to Grandma and Grandpa's for the 4th of July Parade. It went right past their house, so all the cousins and aunts and uncles would gather there for a barbecue and then watch the parade. It was one of my favorite things as a child.

-When I was about 10 or 11, Grandpa got very interested in American Indian history. He learned how to make mandelas (spelling?), and made many of them, which was so impressive to all of us because his hands were so crippled from arthritis. I must have expressed interest in making one too because he took me to get materials to make one. Then we went back to his house to make it. He even let me have some his nicer, expensive beads. I'm sure I went overboard on all the beads and feathers, but he didn't say anything. He just let me use them. I'm so grateful I got to spend that time with him, just the two of us.

- Grandpa was a sheepherder at one point in his life. He always talked about those days with fondness. One time he saw a bear, which is where the famous "Bear Story" came from. At sleepovers at his house we'd all beg him to tell the story.

- He loved horses. I was too little to remember his own horses, but there were always horses in his pasture out back. I wish I could have been old enough to ride his horse.

-I used to love to explore out back in his old barns with my cousins. I remember these old rusty tricycles he had we used to ride.

- One Christmas morning our family found envelopes on our front porch marked for all the kids still living at home. We opened them and found $300 inside. They didn't say who they were from, but we all recognized the shaky handwriting. That money helped me go on an orchestra tour to Washington D.C.

- Grandpa was one of my biggest fans. He was at almost all of my concerts, and he always asked me when I was going to have another one. In recent years, he enjoyed coming to the Layton City Sunday Night concerts I'd participate in. This spring he asked me if I was going to be in another one. I told him I was, and he said to let him know when it would be so he could come. The concert is in two weeks, so he didn't quite make it, but I'll be thinking of him while I'm on the stage.

-My last year in college I won a couple prestigious voice competitions, one gave me the opportunity to sing with the WSU orchestra and the other to perform in the Assembly Hall. As these were probably the last big events I'd get to sing in for a long time, I really wanted to get a new, beautiful dress to perform in, but it wasn't really in our budget. When Grandpa heard this, he told my Mom that he would buy one for me. He said to go out and pick out what I wanted, and he'd pay for it. That was so sweet, and I felt so beautiful each time I got to sing in that special dress. I'm going to keep it forever.

I'll never forget the experience of saying goodbye to him. By that time, he wasn't able to speak anymore or move much- that familiar smile was missing too, but he opened his eyes and looked at me and the kindness and love was still there. I know he was frustrated that he couldn't say anything to me, but I know he was saying "I love you." I gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

We're all so used to him being around that it will be hard having him gone. But we are grateful he's not in pain anymore, and I know he is so happy right now. I bet he is having so much fun up there! I'm so grateful for the knowledge I have of the gospel- that I know he is Home and that someday we'll all be Home again too and be able to live together forever. But in the meantime, we'll miss him.

Love you Grandpa. Thank you.